faithful.

I have a friend named Maci who has challenged me a lot through the years. Today we had breakfast. But not just breakfast. We talked for nearly 3 hours. By the end of it I was raw. Right where I needed to be. Looking at myself and my heart and my relationship with the Lord with honest lenses. Realizing that amidst an abundance of friends and fun, I am empty and lonely. I don't know how to change it. But I want change.

Why did I love this breakfast so? I did love it. My soul needed it. And I saw affirmation that I am not alone in the struggle. No, it wasn't filled with bubbling over words to gloss over the true issues. It made me think. And remember.

I say with confidence that Jesus is Lord. I believe this with all that I am. I put my hope and my trust and my life in his hands.

And little by little, it seems I have tried to take it back.

Maci and I talked about a woman who left all, literally walked away from everything, got on a boat and said Lord send me. She got off in Hong Kong and God has used her tremendously.

Because I can be guilt-driven, stories like this are sometimes dangerous for me. I'd follow suit and hop on a boat with wrong motives. But I don't know that I'd recognize the voice of God if He said go. I don't know that I could do it.

I live each day, step by step, asking for grace from my God, my Father, my Jesus, who knows me and my faults and thankfully still uses me.

So where is the hope?

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23

Thank you Jesus!