thanksgiving9: hugs.

Thankful for:

Hugs and other forms of appropriate physical touch.

We need four hugs a day for survival.We need eight hugs
a day for maintenance.We need twelve hugs a day for growth.
--Virginia Satir (legitimate author and psychotherapist...aka I did not make this quote
up)

This post inspired by my roommate Susan, because I know deep down she, too, is thankful for this [HATES it, actually, but she'll learn to love it].

I love hugs. Not all the time or from anyone & everyone, but selectively given hugs from kids and friends and people who care. Absolutely. I especially love the hugs from people who hate hugs because they mean so much more. And heck, I kind of even love the unexpected, awkward hugs from random people (on a case-by-case scenario) because inevitably they provide good stories.

Hugs communicate comfort and empathy. They tell me without words that the person giving the hug is there for me and glad to have me as part of their life. They break social norms sometimes and tear down people’s guards. They can provide refreshment and encouragement.

I’m guessing most of you have heard of Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Services, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. These are applicable for people in every area of life and at every phase of life, not just within the realm of romantic relationships.

My friend Mandi is the first person to come to mind when I think of a person whose love language is physical touch. The girl gives good hugs. She’s perfectly tall and her arms are a little longer than the average friend, which naturally enhances her ability to give quality hugs. If you’ve met her, you probably understand.
Within a few days of knowing Mandi, she placed one hand on my back and one right below my neck and squeezed tight, saying, “AffirMATION”. It was bizarre. Yet so wonderfully comforting. This became a Mandi staple whenever I was sad or quiet and Mandi attempted to make me smile. It always worked. Even now, the thought of it makes me smile!
Another Mandi staple: at unexpected points while we were sitting in classes, she would take my hand and put pressure on my fingernails one at a time. Yes, you read that correctly. I realize this is odd. But, I loved it! I still do.
The world needs more Mandi’s. More people who aren’t afraid to say “I’m here for you” without words.
If you are a ‘Mandi’, thank you. I’m so proud of you. Keep sharing the love.

If you are not a ‘Mandi’, I’ll hug you soon…because although you will cringe and may resent me a little, you’ll come to love it.