invisible.

I just got back from Chick Fil A, where I sat with Jess and talked. To say it was overdue might just be an understatement. I need her in my life.

I let it slip in conversation with Jess that I have a blog. Safe to say, it's a secret blog. Secret mostly because I haven't told, well, anyone about it.

I realized though how much I love reading other people's blogs. When I come home from work, first thing I do is check twitter, email and my friends' blogs (until recently, this list included facebook...).

Yet, there's something safe about being invisible.

Last year, I told only a few people I had blogged. In this fine world of technology, I was discovered by a work colleague, who asked me a pointed question about something I had written. Nothing wrong, nothing I hadn't posted for this "hypothetical" e-world to read.

Nevertheless, it was unnerving. This person, who I had so few real conversations, knew something deep about my thoughts and heart. I started feeling my walls cave in a bit too tight.

It was about that day that I went into hiding and didn't post anything for, oh, 9 months or so. I changed my web address and embraced newfound invisibility.

The sense of public vulnerability, combined with the nagging fear that I will turn into the strange, lonely, quirky lady whose only true joy in life comes from blogging and petting her cats, led me to stop blogging for quite a while and resolve to tell no one about any possible future blogs.

I hate cats, so that fear was irrational.

And I love people. It's only right that they get a glimpse into my life.

So today, thanks to Jess, I will blog and may even tell people I blog and show them how to get here.

...and if I go invisible in a few weeks, at least you'll know why.