cozy.

There's no other word more fitting at a moment like this.
Cozy.
And what doesn't fit "cozy" more perfectly than curling up on my bed with the windows open so I can hear the thunder storm roll in and blog. That's right me, blogging, something I didn't think of doing until years down the road when I'm posting pictures of my children and the silly things they are up to...but something about being cozy brought me to this point.

Today is a day I'm quite thankful for. Mundane, productive, restful, filled with Smoothie King...a little Barnes and Noble and my world would be complete. For now anyway. And I'm thankful in a way that I haven't been for several weeks. Satisfied. Satisfied with where God has me now, today.

Last week I sat in on a 4th grade math class. The topic was rounding - a 28 becomes a 30, not a 20. Of course. To explain this, the teacher drew a number line and marked the number 7. On one side of the line she drew a circle with the number zero. At the other end, she circled the number ten. Then she told the children that the seven was about to drown if he didn't make it to an island soon. Which one should he swim to? The island of the ten because it's closer. I got it. The kids got it. We were all more proficient rounders by the end of the hour.

But what I unexpectedly gained from the math lesson was a glimpse of myself deciding whether to swim backwards to the island of the past or swim forward to the now. I'm at a new place in life, and it is not easy or cushy or predictable. I don't feel like I've mastered it and I'm not hearing the "great job!" that I look for. It's simply taking one day at a time to learn and be humbled, and pray that God is able to use me even now. While drowning is an option, I think it's time to swim forward. I'm willing to do that.

Now before you stop and think I'm all post-modern, I'll acknowledge it - in no way was the lesson I learned what the teacher was teaching. Oh well. I think it was worth learning.