remember.

3 years ago, I looked at my life and felt like a little piece of me was slipping away. I was days away from graduation, leaving Baylor, moving out of my beloved house in Waco, starting a full summer at Pine Cove, not knowing what job I would be doing post-Pine Cove, feeling anxious about the next season in life, savoring every last fun memory from my years in college, wanting so badly not to grow up.

Inevitably, it happened. I graduated. I worked an incredible summer at camp. I turned down jobs and decided to go through the Forge discipleship program…at the very last minute! I made new friends, new memories, new regrets, new highs and lows, new learning and growth. Life. Life happened.

Last weekend I went back to Pine Cove to watch the Forge class of 2011 graduate. Matt Lantz, the Forge Director – someone who has challenged me, frustrated me, encouraged me, and invested in me tremendously – talked to all of the returning graduates of the Forge to REMEMBER.

I try. I try to remember. The good (tons of it), the bad (more of it than you’d think), and the growth. Matt reminded us of the noticeable difference between remembering and reminiscing. Reminiscing focuses on the fun, the pleasant, the feel-good moments of a certain. It’s not all wrong to reminisce. Not at all. Sometimes it can be the medicine my heart needs! But sometimes reminiscing alone detracts from true remembrance. Remembering takes an honest, heartfelt look at the past – acknowledging both the pain and the joy. Sometimes the pain is what makes the joy so sweet.

I look back on my time at Baylor, on my time in the Forge, on the season post-graduation. So much life lived! There have been many lonely points. Many moments of questioning. A lot of rejoicing too. Times of fear. Times of being put in my place. Times of laughing to the point of tears. Times of cherishing sweet friendships and rejoicing for new beginnings. Times of longing for my own new beginnings. Points of success and satisfaction. Points of embarrassment and failure.

That’s life.

I don’t want to forget it.